Category: Books

Date A Girl Who Reads

Wisdom from Rosemarie Urquico

“You should date a girl who reads.

Date a girl who reads. Date a girl who spends her money on books instead of clothes, who has problems with closet space because she has too many books. Date a girl who has a list of books she wants to read, who has had a library card since she was twelve.

Find a girl who reads. You’ll know that she does because she will always have an unread book in her bag. She’s the one lovingly looking over the shelves in the bookstore, the one who quietly cries out when she has found the book she wants. You see that weird chick sniffing the pages of an old book in a secondhand book shop? That’s the reader. They can never resist smelling the pages, especially when they are yellow and worn.

She’s the girl reading while waiting in that coffee shop down the street. If you take a peek at her mug, the non-dairy creamer is floating on top because she’s kind of engrossed already. Lost in a world of the author’s making. Sit down. She might give you a glare, as most girls who read do not like to be interrupted. Ask her if she likes the book.

Buy her another cup of coffee.

Let her know what you really think of Murakami. See if she got through the first chapter of Fellowship. Understand that if she says she understood James Joyce’s Ulysses she’s just saying that to sound intelligent. Ask her if she loves Alice or she would like to be Alice.

It’s easy to date a girl who reads. Give her books for her birthday, for Christmas, for anniversaries. Give her the gift of words, in poetry and in song. Give her Neruda, Pound, Sexton, Cummings. Let her know that you understand that words are love. Understand that she knows the difference between books and reality but by god, she’s going to try to make her life a little like her favorite book. It will never be your fault if she does.

She has to give it a shot somehow.

Lie to her. If she understands syntax, she will understand your need to lie. Behind words are other things: motivation, value, nuance, dialogue. It will not be the end of the world.

Fail her. Because a girl who reads knows that failure always leads up to the climax. Because girls who read understand that all things must come to end, but that you can always write a sequel. That you can begin again and again and still be the hero. That life is meant to have a villain or two.

Why be frightened of everything that you are not? Girls who read understand that people, like characters, develop. Except in the Twilight series.

If you find a girl who reads, keep her close. When you find her up at 2 AM clutching a book to her chest and weeping, make her a cup of tea and hold her. You may lose her for a couple of hours but she will always come back to you. She’ll talk as if the characters in the book are real, because for a while, they always are.

You will propose on a hot air balloon. Or during a rock concert. Or very casually next time she’s sick. Over Skype.

You will smile so hard you will wonder why your heart hasn’t burst and bled out all over your chest yet. You will write the story of your lives, have kids with strange names and even stranger tastes. She will introduce your children to the Cat in the Hat and Aslan, maybe in the same day. You will walk the winters of your old age together and she will recite Keats under her breath while you shake the snow off your boots.

Date a girl who reads because you deserve it. You deserve a girl who can give you the most colorful life imaginable. If you can only give her monotony, and stale hours and half-baked proposals, then you’re better off alone. If you want the world and the worlds beyond it, date a girl who reads.

Or better yet, date a girl who writes.”

― Rosemarie Urquico

For Book Lovers

Books aren’t just possessions—they’re doorways to different worlds and perspectives that shape who we are.

The Reading Life

Reading creates a rich inner world that spills into reality, coloring everyday experiences with literary magic.

Literary Love

Those who appreciate literature bring depth, imagination, and endless conversation to relationships.

Join the Conversation

Do you love someone who reads? Are you a reader yourself? Share your stories of how books have shaped your relationships.

How To Keep Your Business Mojo

Understanding the four ingredients of professional Mojo and how to avoid killing it

Mojo book cover by Marshall Goldsmith
Marshall Goldsmith’s book explores how to find and maintain your professional Mojo

Marshall Goldsmith wrote Mojo: How to Get It, How to Keep It, How to Get It Back if You Lose It and in his book, he says that four ingredients need to be combined in order for you to have great Mojo:

The Four Essential Ingredients of Mojo

1. Identity: Who you think you are?

Our identity is created in a number of ways: remembered (life experience), reflected (what others think of us), programmed (what others think we should be), and created (what we consciously choose to be).

Key Insight: “To change your Mojo, you may need to either create a new identity for yourself or rediscover an identity that you have lost.”

2. Achievement: What have you done lately?

There is a difference between what we think we achieve and what others think we achieve. When these get out of sync we can have a Mojo crisis. Understand what “achievement” means to you.

Key Insight: “Try not to go through life deluding yourself by pretending that when the world cares, you do—or pretending that when the world does not care, you do not care.”

3. Reputation: What do other people think you are?

Your reputation is a scoreboard kept by others. You can’t control it, but if it’s killing your Mojo, there’s a lot you can do to improve it. You can choose the reputation you want if you are disciplined enough to live out your objectives in daily, consistent behaviors.

4. Acceptance: What can you change, and what is beyond your control?

Acceptance means you dispense with what Goldsmith calls the Great Western Disease—the “I’ll be happy when…” statement. You know how it goes: “I will be happy when I have a million dollars in the bank, when my house is bigger, or when I look the way I want.” There’s nothing wrong with wanting those things but we often fixate on the future at the expense of enjoying the life we’re living now.

Key Insight: “By carrying around anger and negative baggage, we weigh ourselves down. We limit our opportunities to find meaning and happiness. We kill our Mojo.”

Six Ways We Kill Our Own Mojo

We kill our Mojo by committing mistakes like these:

1. Over-committing

When you’re bursting with Mojo, everybody wants you to be a part of what you’re doing. This can lead to over-commitment. It is “one of the sweet but risky blowbacks from having Mojo.” Understandably we don’t want to look weak, naturally, we loved to be included, or perhaps we think we’re superhuman, but whatever the case it can kill our Mojo.

2. Waiting For the Facts to Change

This is wishful thinking. It is a common response to a setback. It’s the opposite of over-committing because while you’re waiting for a more comfortable set of facts to appear, you do nothing.

Goldsmith’s Advice: “When the facts are not to your liking, ask yourself, ‘What path would I take if I knew that the situation would not get better?’ Then get ready to do that.”

3. Looking For Logic in All the Wrong Places

Humans are not always logical, yet we persist in trying to find logic where no logic exists or try to prove others wrong with our superior logic.

Goldsmith’s Advice: “The next time you pride yourself on your superior ‘logic’ and damage relationships with people you need at work—or the people you love at home—ask yourself, ‘How logical was that?'”

4. Bashing the Boss

This should speak for itself. See acceptance.

5. Refusing to Change Because of “Sunk Costs”

“We persist in error,” says Goldsmith, “because we cannot admit error.” If your decisions are based on what you have to lose instead of what you have to gain, your “sunk costs” may be costing you more than you know.

6. Confusing the Mode You’re In

There is our professional mode and our relaxed mode. And we shift between the two without even thinking about it.

Professional Mode: “The executives you most admire tend to be those who, with constant discipline, never drift out of professional mode….They have chosen a role for themselves, and they rarely go off-script. They are professionals. That’s why they have Mojo.”

Applying Mojo Principles

Self-Assessment: Your Mojo Status

Which of the four ingredients of Mojo do you need to work on most? Are you committing any of the six Mojo-killing mistakes identified by Goldsmith? What one change could you make today to enhance your professional Mojo?

Source: LeadershipNow.com

Rework By Jason Fried & David Heinemeir Hansson

My notes and takeaways from the refreshingly contrarian business wisdom of Jason Fried and David Heinemeier Hansson

Rework book cover

Rework by Jason Fried and David Heinemeier Hansson of Basecamp

I had a very productive day today and am happy to say I got through reading Rework which I really enjoyed. Below are my notes from the book.

If you’re tired of the same old business advice that feels disconnected from reality, Rework offers a refreshing alternative. Written by Jason Fried and David Heinemeier Hansson, the founders of Basecamp (formerly 37signals), this book challenges conventional wisdom about what it takes to start and run a successful business.

What makes Rework stand out is its straightforward, no-nonsense approach. Instead of encouraging complex business plans, venture capital funding, and rapid growth, the authors advocate for simplicity, self-funding, and intentional smallness. Their counterintuitive insights are based on their own experiences building a profitable company without following the traditional startup playbook.

Challenging Business Assumptions

Ignore the real world

Don’t listen when others say something can’t be done. The “real world” is often just an excuse for not trying something new or challenging established norms.

Failure is not a rite of passage

With so much failure in the air, you can’t help but breathe it in. Don’t inhale. Don’t get fooled by the stats. Other people’s failures are just that: other people’s failures. Just because others have failed doesn’t mean you’re destined to.

Planning is guessing

Unless you’re a fortune teller, long-term business planning is a fantasy. There are too many factors that are out of your hands: market conditions, competitors, customers, the economy, etc. Running a plan makes you feel in control of things you can’t actually control. Why don’t we just call plans what they really are: guesses.

One of the most powerful aspects of Rework is how it liberates entrepreneurs from the traditional burdens of business mythology. By recognizing that plans are just guesses and failure isn’t inevitable, founders can focus on what actually matters: creating something valuable and getting it to market.

Why grow?

Have you ever noticed that while small businesses wish they were bigger, big businesses dream about being more agile and flexible? And remember, once you get big, it’s really hard to shrink without laying off people, damaging morale, and changing the entire way you do business. Don’t be insecure about being a small business. Anyone who runs a business that’s sustainable and profitable, whether it’s big or small, should be proud.

Productivity and Work Culture

Workaholism

Not only is workaholism unnecessary, it’s stupid. Working more doesn’t mean you care more or get more done. You just work more. Workaholics miss the point, too. They try to fix problems by throwing sheer hours at them, trying to make up for intellectual laziness with brute force. The real hero is already home because they figured out a faster way to get things done.

Interruption is the enemy of productivity

If you’re constantly staying late and working weekends, it’s not because there’s too much work to be done. It’s because you’re not getting enough done at work. And the reason is interruptions. Getting into the zone takes time and requires avoiding interruptions. It’s like REM sleep: you don’t just go directly into REM sleep. You go to sleep first and then make your way to REM. Any interruptions force you to start over.

The authors of Rework challenge the glorification of overwork that’s common in startup culture. They recognize that productivity isn’t about hours worked but about focused effort and smart solutions. Their perspective is a welcome antidote to the “hustle culture” that dominates much business thinking.

Meetings are toxic

The worst interruptions of all are meetings. Here’s why:

  • They’re usually about words and abstract concepts, not real things
  • They usually convey an hour’s worth of information in a minute
  • They require thorough preparation that most people don’t have time for
  • They usually have agendas so vague that nobody is really sure of the goal
  • Meetings procreate. One meeting leads to another to another

It’s also unfortunate that meetings are typically scheduled like TV shows. You set aside 30 minutes or an hour because that’s how scheduling software works. Too bad. If it only takes seven minutes to accomplish the goal of a meeting, then that’s all the time you should spend. Don’t stretch seven minute meetings to 30.

They are not 13

When you treat people as children, you get children’s work. Yet that’s exactly how a lot of companies and managers treat employees. Employees need to ask permission before they can do anything. They need to get approval for every tiny expenditure.

What do you gain if you ban employees from, say, visiting a social networking site or watching YouTube while at work? You gain nothing. That time doesn’t magically convert to work. People need diversions. They help disrupt the monotony of the workday. A little YouTube or Facebook time never hurt anyone.

Starting and Building a Business

Be a starter!

Instead of entrepreneurs, let’s just call them starters. Anyone who creates a new business is a starter. You don’t need an MBA, a certificate, a fancy suit, a briefcase, or an above-average tolerance for risk. You just need an idea, a touch of confidence, and a push to get started.

Make a dent in the universe!

If you’re going to do something, do something that matters.

Scratch your own itch

The easiest, most straightforward way to create a great product or service is to make something you want to use.

Reasons to quit a project (ask yourself):

  • Why are you doing this?
  • Is this actually useful?
  • Are you adding value?
  • Will this change behavior?
  • Is there an easier way?
  • What could you be doing instead?

Start making something

We all know that friend who says, “I had the idea for eBay. If only I had acted on it, I’d be a billionaire!” That logic is pathetic and delusional. Having the idea for eBay has nothing to do with actually creating eBay. What you do is what matters, not what you think or say or plan. The most important thing is to begin. Ideas are cheap and plentiful. The real question is how well you will execute.

The authors’ emphasis on simply starting—without overthinking, overplanning, or seeking perfection—is incredibly liberating. In a business world obsessed with credentials, funding, and complex strategies, Rework suggests that the most important thing is just to begin creating something valuable.

No time is no excuse

The most common excuse people give is there’s not enough time. They claim they’d love to start a company, learn an instrument, market an invention, write a book, or whatever, but there just aren’t enough hours in the day.

You need a commitment strategy, not an exit strategy

Building to flip is building to flop. Embrace constraints.

Product Development and Execution

Stop whining

Less is a good thing. Constraints are advantages in disguise. Limited resources force you to make do with what you’ve got. There’s no room for waste. And that forces you to be creative. Ever seen what a prisoner can do with a spoon? They make do with what they’ve got.

You’re better off with a kick-ass half than a half-ass whole

Ignore the details early on. Architects don’t worry about which tiles go in the shower or which brand of dishwasher to install in the kitchen until after the floor plan is finalized. They know it’s better to decide these details later. You need to approach your idea the same way. Details make the difference. But getting infatuated with details too early leads to disagreement, meetings, and delays.

Rework encourages entrepreneurs to embrace constraints rather than complain about them. Limited resources can actually spark creativity and force focus on what truly matters. This counterintuitive perspective challenges the assumption that you need abundant resources to build something great.

Focus on what won’t change

A lot of companies focus on the next big thing. That’s a fool’s path. Focus on things that people are going to want today and 10 years from now. Those are things that you should invest in.

Marketing and Company Culture

Nobody likes plastic flowers

The business world is full of professionals who wear the uniform and try to seem perfect. In truth, they just come off as stiff and boring. No one can relate to people like that. Don’t be afraid to show your flaws. Imperfections are real and people respond to real. It’s why we like real flowers that wilt, not perfect plastic ones that never change. Don’t worry about how you’re supposed to sound and how you’re supposed to act. Show the world what you’re really like, warts and all. There is a beauty to imperfection.

Drug dealers get it right

Drug dealers are astute business people. They know their product is so good, they’re willing to give a little away for free upfront. They know you’ll be back for more with money. Emulate drug dealers. Don’t be afraid to give a little away for free as long as you’ve got something else to sell. Be confident in what you’re offering. You should know that people will come back for more. If you’re not confident about that, you haven’t built a strong enough product.

The marketing advice in Rework emphasizes authenticity over polish, generosity over stinginess, and teaching over selling. This human-centered approach to business stands in stark contrast to the polished corporate marketing that dominates many industries.

You don’t create a culture

You don’t create a culture. It happens. This is why new companies don’t have a culture. Culture is the byproduct of consistent behavior. If you encourage people to share, sharing will be built into your culture. If you reward trust, trust will be built in. If you treat customers right, treating customers right becomes your culture.

Forget about formal education

There are companies out there who have educational requirements. They only hire people with a college degree or advanced degree or a certain GPA or certification of some sort or some other requirement. Come on. There are plenty of intelligent people who don’t excel in the classroom. Don’t fall into the trap of thinking you need someone from one of the best schools in order to get results. 90% of CEOs currently heading the top 500 American companies did not receive undergraduate degrees from Ivy League colleges.

How to teach your competition

Teaching isn’t something your competitors are even thinking about. Most businesses focus on selling or servicing, but teaching never even occurs to them. Teach and you form a bond you just don’t get from traditional marketing tactics. Buying people’s attention with a magazine or online banner ad is one thing. Earning their loyalty by teaching them forms a different connection. They trust you more. They respect you more.

Final Thoughts: Business Wisdom for the Real World

Rework stands out among business books for its refreshing honesty and practical advice. Rather than promoting complex strategies or get-rich-quick schemes, Fried and Heinemeier Hansson share straightforward wisdom based on their actual experiences building a successful company.

What I find most valuable about this book is how it gives permission to take a different path. In a business culture that often glorifies raising venture capital, rapid scaling, and eventual exits, Rework shows that it’s possible to build a profitable, sustainable business by focusing on solving real problems, creating genuine value, and maintaining independence.

Whether you’re just starting a business, leading a team, or simply interested in a more sane approach to work, there’s something valuable to take away from this unconventional guide.

Join the Conversation

Which of these principles resonates most with you? Have you applied any of these ideas in your work or business? Share your experiences in the comments below!

The Unemployed Millionaire (Book Review & Summary)

Book Review: The Unemployed Millionaire

Escape the Rat Race, Fire Your Boss, and Live Life on YOUR Terms

The Unemployed Millionaire Book Cover

I purchased this book from Amazon.com last week, and it sat on my coffee table until today. I can’t remember the last time I’ve picked up a book and read it all within a day, but that is what I did with The Unemployed Millionaire by Matt Morris (I started it at a coffee shop this morning and finished it at home tonight). I think I liked it just as much as The 4-Hour Work Week.

If you are like me and don’t have any plans to “escape the rat race, fire your boss, and live life on YOUR terms”, this book can still help us all. I took notes today and have posted them below in case you won’t have time to read the book. If you do read the book, I’d love to hear your thoughts, and I’d love to compare my notes with your own. Since it is getting late I need to head to bed but wanted to share as soon as I could, so forgive any spelling or grammar errors as I am copying/pasting straight from my word processor.

Key Points & Takeaways

  • Introduction
    • When he turned four years old, his parents divorced. A year later, his father broke into their home and murdered my mother’s boyfriend by shooting him dead right in front of her. After serving his time in prison, he returned to severed alcoholism while my mom raised me, working two jobs with no child support and on food stamps at times, while working to finish her degree. When he was 13 years old, his father committed suicide. When he turned 18, he decided to become an entrepreneur and by 21, he was such a miserable failure I ended up $30,000 in debt, homeless, and living out of my little beat-up Honda Civic, bathing in gas station bathrooms.
  • By age 21 he was a self-made millionaire. By age 32 he has generated well over $20,000,000 for his companies and feels like he is just getting started.
  • The book starts with Morris in a college Marketing class. The professor, Dr. Nguyen, won’t let students go to the bathroom and if they do go to the bathroom they are considered “absent”. Additionally, for each class, he has assigned seating.
  • The professor said the only way to really “make it” in business is to have a degree. The only way to be “great” at business is to have a master’s degree. The only way to really climb the corporate ladder is to get a PhD. Morris has a desire to work and not hear theories from professors who have never stepped foot in the business world, which leaves him to literally stand up and leave the Marketing class one day and never return to college.

“When you reach the end of your rope, tie a knot in it and hang on.”

— Ben Franklin

The Rock Bottom Moment

Would sleep in his car in church parking lots because he figured “criminals who might want to rob me (as if I had anything to take) might think twice doing it at a church”

One night it was pouring rain, so he decided to take a bar of soap and try bathing in the rain. He says “if you’ve ever showed in the rain, you’ve learned as I did that even when it’s raining really hard, it takes a long time to shower because there’s no concentration of water like there is from a shower head. I said to myself, this is going to take all night! Then my second stroke of genius hit me. Looking over at the church, which had no gutters, there was a huge concentration of runoff from the roof pouring down onto the asphalt. I walked myself under the runoff and had my shower! After getting back in my car and drying off, I did some serious soul-searching. I was 21 years old, homeless, sleeping in my car, lonely, over $30,000 in debt, and bathing in gas station bathrooms – I even showered naked in a public church parking lot because I stunk so bad. That was my wake-up call. I committed that night, even though I had no idea how, that I was going to turn my life around and become a huge success.”

The ONE and ONLY Formula for Success

SUCCESS = Your Skill × Your Effort

(Your success is equal to your level of skill multiplied by your level of effort.)

Core Success Principles

Limiting Beliefs

I’m here to tell you that whatever limiting beliefs you’ve created for yourself are absolute and total crap and are nothing more than a story you’ve made up about yourself.

Embrace Failure

The most successful people in the world actually have more failures than the rest. Tom Watson, the founder of IBM, once said that if you want to greatly increase your chance of success, double your rate of failure.

Mindset Matters

“Watch your thoughts, they become your words. Watch your words, they become your actions. Watch your actions, they become your habits. Watch your habits, they become your character. Watch your character, for it will become your destiny.” – Frank Outlaw

The Key Characteristics for Achieving Any Goal

  1. You must have a specific goal.
  2. You must have a specific time frame to achieve your goal.
  3. You must write your goal down.
  4. You must determine a compelling purpose why you must achieve your goal.
  5. You must develop an action plan to reach your goal.
  6. You must think about and look at your goal every day.

Simple Goal-Setting Sheet

  • Goal and Deadline
  • Purpose for Achieving Goal
  • Action Plan for Achieving Goal

Leadership Laws

#1 – The Dream

The leader always has a dream larger than those he or she leads.

#2 – The Vision

The leader always conveys an inspiring vision.

#3 – The Attitude

The leader always has a superior attitude than those he or she leads.

#4 – The Bar

The leader sets the bar high.

“Being rich is having money; being wealthy is having time.”

— Margaret Bonnano

“Success is not the key to happiness. Happiness is the key to success. If you love what you are doing, you will be successful.”

— Albert Schweitzer

Join the Discussion

Have you read “The Unemployed Millionaire”? What success principles have you found most effective in your own life and career?

Gary Vaynerchuk’s CRUSH IT Book Tour

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I got to meet Gary Vaynerchuk who is one of my idols at a book tour in Berkeley tonight.  Tyler was really good for the first twenty minutes of his presentation, but I decided to take him outside to play because I could tell I was pushing my luck.  In Gary’s book (only a quarter of the way through it) he talks about making family first, so I was living that tonight!  Gary was extremely pleasant and very personable, as one would expect.  He signed my book and was even nice enough to take a picture of us together.  I was able to get the entire presentation on video, so I should have it up later tonight or first thing in the morning.