Category Archives: Random Stuff (Misc.)

Funny Facebook Status Response

nancy

OK I am proud of this one…come on you have to admit that is funny!

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Aphorisms

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Aphorism:
A short, pointed sentence expressing a wise or clever observation or a general truth.

  1. The nicest thing about the future is that it always starts tomorrow.
  2. Money will buy a fine dog, but only kindness will make him wag his tail.
  3. If you don’t have a sense of humor, you probably don’t  have any sense at all.
  4. Seat belts are not as confining as wheelchairs.
  5. A good time to keep your mouth shut is when you’re in deep water.
  6. How come it takes so little time for a child who is afraid of the dark to become a teenager who wants to stay out all night?
  7. Business conventions are important because they demonstrate how many people a company can operate without.
  8. Why is it that at class reunions you feel younger than everyone else looks?
  9. Scratch a cat and you will have a permanent job.
  10. No one has more driving ambition than the boy who wants to buy a car.
  11. There are no new sins; the old ones just get more publicity.
  12. There are worse things than getting a call for a wrong number at 4 AM. – Like this: It could be a right number.
  13. No one ever says ‘It’s only a game.’ when their team is winning.
  14. I’ve reached the age where the happy hour is a nap.
  15. Be careful reading the fine print. There’s no way you’re going to like it.
  16. The trouble with bucket seats is that not everybody has the same size bucket.
  17. Do you realize that in about 40 years, we’ll have thousands of old ladies running around with tattoos?And rap music will be the Golden Oldies !
  18. Money can’t buy happiness — but somehow it’s more comfortable to cry in a GT500 than in a Yugo.
  19. After 60, if you don’t wake up aching in every joint, you are probably dead!
  20. Always be yourself. Because the people that matter, don’t mind. And the one’s that mind, don’t matter.
  21. Life isn’t tied with a bow, but it’s still a gift.
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The White Crayon

whitecrayon

OK now that I have a child I remember wondering about things I haven’t thought about in a long time.  My son Tyler likes to draw, well scribble for now, and the other day he was drawing and he pulled out the white crayon.  He scribbled with the white crayon and looked perplexed why it wasn’t producing a color on the paper.  This leads me to ask: why do we have a white crayon in the crayon box of life, does anyone actually use it, and if so for what purpose? According to the Urban Dictionary if someone is a “white crayon” it means they are utterly useless.

In 1903 when the Crayola crayons were first introduced, the white crayon was not one of the first original colors. It was added in 1949 following the aftermath of WWII.  Someone asked what the white crayon is used for on Yahoo Answers (glad I’m not the only one) and below is the community’s best answer: “They are best used for adding glare and highlights to your colored drawings. They provide more depth and interest than just flat color because they make objects have a reflectance value and your drawings will pop.”  OK that sounds nice in theory but common who uses that crayon?

Stay with me, I woke up early and I’m gonna get deep on you.  If something is white it means it is the presence of the combination of all colors in the visible spectrum which is really powerful if you think about it.  I mean if a color has all colors in it, and the result is no color at all, maybe God is trying to tell us something. Maybe our world focuses too much on color and we need to see life like the white crayon (with no color at all).

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The Blind Woman (Email I Received)

jessica_alba

There was a blind woman who hated herself because she was blind. She hated everyone, except her loving boyfriend. He was always there for her. She told her boyfriend, ‘If I could only see the world, I will marry you.’ One day, someone donated a pair of eyes to her. When the bandages came off, she was able to see everything, including her boyfriend.

He asked her, ‘Now that you can see the world, will you marry me?’ The girl looked at her boyfriend and saw that he was blind. The sight of his closed eyelids shocked her. She hadn’t expected that. The thought of looking at them the rest of her life led her to refuse to marry him.

Her boyfriend left in tears and days later wrote a note to her saying: ‘Take good care of your eyes, my dear, for before they were yours, they were mine.’ This is how the human brain often works when our status changes.  Only a very few remember what life was like before, and who was always by their side in the most painful situations. Life is a gift today so before you say an unkind words think of someone who can’t speak.

Before you complain about the taste of your food think of someone who has nothing to eat.  Before you complain about your husband or wife think of someone who’s crying out to God for a companion.  Today before you complain about life think of someone who went too early to Heaven.  Before whining about the distance you drive think of someone who walks the same distance with their feet.  And when you are tired and complain about your job think of the unemployed, the disabled, and those who wish  they had your job.  And when depressing thoughts seem to get you down put a smile on your face and think: you’re alive and still around.

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Vibram’s FiveFingers

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I was walking yesterday with someone who had twisted their ankle a few days prior which led to a conversation about shoes.  I said I had seen Tim Ferris wearing glove like shoes for your feet and had heard even before seeing them that running barefoot was actually better for you than wearing tennis shoes.  Ironically I saw an article today about Vibram’s FiveFingers “shoes” which basically let you go barefoot without tearing up your feet so I decided to blog about it. The premise is going shoeless allows the foot to flex and better absorb shock.  When people wear shoes they tend to land on their heels.  Wired has a great article about it if you want to read more.  I think if you were to wear them you would probably get some strange looks but has anyone tried them yet?

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