Car Doors Say A Lot About A Marriage…

“When a man opens a car door for his wife, it’s either a new car or a new wife.” – unknown

If you are in a relationship, here are some tips to staying in that relationship:

  1. Always put her first — before work, friends, even basketball. Act as if she’s the best thing that ever happened to you, because we all know she is.
  2. Keep no secrets. Pool your money. Allow nothing and no one to come between you.
  3. Pick your fights with care. Play fair. Show some class. Hurtful words can be forgiven, but they’re hard to forget.
  4. Fall in love again every day. Kiss her in taxis. Flirt with her at parties. Tell her she’s beautiful. Then tell her again.
  5. Never miss an anniversary or a birthday or a chance to make a memory. Memories may not seem important now, but one day they’ll be gold.
  6. Never give her a practical gift. If she really wants a Shop-Vac, let her pick it out herself.
  7. Go to church together, and pray every day for each other and your marriage.
  8. Pay your bills on time and make sure you each have a living will, a durable power of attorney and life insurance, lest, God forbid, you need them.
  9. Love her parents as your own, but don’t ask them for money. Never criticize her family or friends. On her birthday, send flowers to her mother with a note saying, “Thank you for giving birth to the love of my life.”
  10. Always listen to her heart. If you’re wrong, say you’re sorry; if you’re right, shut up.
  11. Don’t half-tie the knot; plan to stay married forever.
  12. Never go to bed mad; talk until you’re over it, or you forget why you were mad.
  13. Laugh together a lot. If you can laugh at yourselves, you’ll have plenty to laugh about.
  14. Never criticize, correct or interrupt her in public; try not to do it in private, either.
  15. Remember that people are the least lovable when they are most in need of love.
  16. Never fall for the myth of perfectionism; it’s a lie.
  17. When you don’t like each other, remember that you love each other; pray for the “good days” to return and they will.
  18. Tell the truth, only the truth, with great kindness.
  19. Kiss at least 10 seconds a day, all at once or spread out.
  20. Memorize all her favorite things and amaze her with how very well you know her.
  21. Examine your relationship as often as you change the oil in your car; keep steering it on a path you both want it to go.
  22. Be content with what you have materially, honest about where you are emotionally, and never stop growing spiritually.
  23. Never raise your voice unless you’re on fire. Whisper when you argue.
  24. Be both friends and lovers; in a blackout, light a candle, then make your own sparks.
  25. Finally, be an interesting person, lead your own life. But always save your best for each other. In the end, you will know you were better together than you ever could’ve been apart.

The Grass is Always Greener…

Every day on my way to work I pass cows eating grass in the fields of lovely Livermore, CA.  Every morning there is always at least one cow who has decided that the grass on the other side of the fence is greener and sticks his (or her) head through it.  It is interesting because like cows, humans don’t want to be constrained by choices and when obstacles are put in our way we always seem to want to break through them. When I see the cows stretching their necks through the barbed wire fencing I always ask myself “I wonder if the the grass that cow is eating on the other side of the  fence is really that much different (or better) than the grass inside their enclosure?

Ask someone what they want and chances are they will respond with “I don’t care”.  Tell someone what they are going to do and more than likely they are going to tell you their opinion on the matter when a moment ago they did not care.   Try it next time you are deciding where to go to lunch as a group.  You always get the standard “I don’t know” any time someone is asked where they want to go but when you recommend sushi isn’t it interesting how they suddenly change their mind and say “how about McDonald’s?

If you are working you probably think what it would be like to work for another company.  If you are in a relationship you probably ask yourself what it would be like to be in a relationship with someone else.  I can go on but the point is if you aren’t happy today you probably won’t be happy tomorrow.  Don’t get me wrong though if you have an obstacle from stopping you from being happy, moooove that obstacle and be happy!

When Life Gives You Lemons…

An old Italian lived alone in New Jersey . He wanted to plant his annual tomato garden, but it was very difficult work, as the ground was hard. His only son, Vincent, who used to help him, was in prison.  The old man wrote a letter to his son and described his predicament:

Dear Vincent,
I am feeling pretty sad, because it looks like I won’t be able to plant my tomato garden this year. I’m just getting too old to be digging up a garden plot. I know if you were here my troubles would be over. I know you would be happy to dig the plot for me, like in the old days.

Love,
Papa

A few days later he received a letter from his son:

Dear Pop,
Don’t dig up that garden.  That’s where the bodies are buried.

Love,
Vinnie

At 4 a.m. the next morning, FBI agents and local police arrived and dug up the entire area without finding any bodies. They apologized to the old man and left. That same day the old man received another letter from his son:

Dear Pop,
Go ahead and plant the tomatoes now. That’s the best I could do under the circumstances.

I love you,
Vinnie

The Great Gadzoni

My dad emailed me this story so I Google’d his name hoping it was true but it doesn’t look like it is. Great story though, it can be applied to several things in life.

Several years ago the Great Gadzoni had just completed a challenging tightrope walk across Niagra Falls. The wind was howling and stinging rain pelted him as he inched across the rope. Met with enthusiastic applause on the other side the Great Gadzoni was wringing the water from his cape when an excited fan approached, urging him to make a return trip but this time pushing a wheelbarrow, which the fan just happened to have with him. The Great Gadzoni was hesitant, having barely made the first trip across in the high winds and pouring rain. But the spectator insisted stating that he knew the Great Gadzoni could do it. “You can do it. I know you can” the fan insisted. The Great Gadzoni thought for a moment. “You really believe I can do it?” “Yes, definitely” the fan responded. “OK said Gadzoni. Get in.”