Car Doors Say A Lot About A Marriage…

25 Tips for a Lasting Relationship

Timeless Wisdom for Love That Endures

Man opening door for lady

“When a man opens a car door for his wife, it’s either a new car or a new wife.”
— unknown

If you are in a relationship, here are some tips to staying in that relationship:

1

Always put her first — before work, friends, even basketball. Act as if she’s the best thing that ever happened to you, because we all know she is.

2

Keep no secrets. Pool your money. Allow nothing and no one to come between you.

3

Pick your fights with care. Play fair. Show some class. Hurtful words can be forgiven, but they’re hard to forget.

4

Fall in love again every day. Kiss her in taxis. Flirt with her at parties. Tell her she’s beautiful. Then tell her again.

5

Never miss an anniversary or a birthday or a chance to make a memory. Memories may not seem important now, but one day they’ll be gold.

6

Never give her a practical gift. If she really wants a Shop-Vac, let her pick it out herself.

7

Go to church together, and pray every day for each other and your marriage.

8

Pay your bills on time and make sure you each have a living will, a durable power of attorney and life insurance, lest, God forbid, you need them.

9

Love her parents as your own, but don’t ask them for money. Never criticize her family or friends. On her birthday, send flowers to her mother with a note saying, “Thank you for giving birth to the love of my life.”

10

Always listen to her heart. If you’re wrong, say you’re sorry; if you’re right, shut up.

11

Don’t half-tie the knot; plan to stay married forever.

12

Never go to bed mad; talk until you’re over it, or you forget why you were mad.

13

Laugh together a lot. If you can laugh at yourselves, you’ll have plenty to laugh about.

14

Never criticize, correct or interrupt her in public; try not to do it in private, either.

15

Remember that people are the least lovable when they are most in need of love.

16

Never fall for the myth of perfectionism; it’s a lie.

17

When you don’t like each other, remember that you love each other; pray for the “good days” to return and they will.

18

Tell the truth, only the truth, with great kindness.

19

Kiss at least 10 seconds a day, all at once or spread out.

20

Memorize all her favorite things and amaze her with how very well you know her.

21

Examine your relationship as often as you change the oil in your car; keep steering it on a path you both want it to go.

22

Be content with what you have materially, honest about where you are emotionally, and never stop growing spiritually.

23

Never raise your voice unless you’re on fire. Whisper when you argue.

24

Be both friends and lovers; in a blackout, light a candle, then make your own sparks.

25

Finally, be an interesting person, lead your own life. But always save your best for each other. In the end, you will know you were better together than you ever could’ve been apart.

Communication

Listen deeply, speak kindly, and remember that how you say something matters as much as what you say.

Commitment

Choose each other every day, prioritize your relationship, and approach challenges as a team.

Romance

Never stop dating each other, express your love daily, and keep the spark alive through thoughtful gestures.

The Grass is Always Greener…

Is the Grass Really Greener?

Reflections on Human Nature and Contentment

Every day on my way to work, I pass cows eating grass in the fields of lovely Livermore, CA. Every morning, there is always at least one cow who has decided that the grass on the other side of the fence is greener and sticks his (or her) head through it. It is interesting because, like cows, humans don’t want to be constrained by choices and when obstacles are put in our way we always seem to want to break through them. When I see the cows stretching their necks through the barbed wire fencing, I always ask myself, “I wonder if the grass that cow is eating on the other side of the fence is really that much different (or better) than the grass inside their enclosure?”

Ask someone what they want, and chances are they will respond with “I don’t care.” Tell someone what they are going to do and more than likely they are going to tell you their opinion on the matter when a moment ago they did not care. Try it next time you are deciding where to go to lunch as a group. You always get the standard “I don’t know” any time someone is asked where they want to go, but when you recommend sushi, isn’t it interesting how they suddenly change their mind and say “how about McDonald’s?”

If you are working, you probably think what it would be like to work for another company. If you are in a relationship, you probably ask yourself what it would be like to be in a relationship with someone else. I can go on, but the point is if you aren’t happy today, you probably won’t be happy tomorrow. Don’t get me wrong, though, if you have an obstacle from stopping you from being happy, moooove that obstacle and be happy!

Human Nature

We naturally resist constraints and desire what seems just out of reach.

Contentment

Happiness comes from within rather than from changing external circumstances.

Choice Paradox

We often don’t know what we want until someone suggests something we don’t want.

“If you aren’t happy today, you probably won’t be happy tomorrow.”

Questions to Consider

  • When was the last time you envied someone else’s circumstances?
  • What aspects of your current situation might others be envying?
  • What obstacles to happiness are within your power to “moooove”?

Join the Conversation

Have you ever found that the “grass wasn’t greener” after making a change? Share your experiences below!

When Life Gives You Lemons

A story of ingenuity and familial love

An old Italian lived alone in New Jersey. He wanted to plant his annual tomato garden, but it was very difficult work, as the ground was hard. His only son, Vincent, who used to help him, was in prison. The old man wrote a letter to his son and described his predicament:

Dear Vincent,

I am feeling pretty sad, because it looks like I won’t be able to plant my tomato garden this year. I’m just getting too old to be digging up a garden plot. I know if you were here, my troubles would be over. I know you would be happy to dig the plot for me, like in the old days.

Love,

Papa

A few days later, he received a letter from his son:

Dear Pop,

Don’t dig up that garden. That’s where the bodies are buried.

Love,

Vinnie

At 4 a.m. the next morning, FBI agents and local police arrived and dug up the entire area without finding any bodies. They apologized to the old man and left. That same day, the old man received another letter from his son:

Dear Pop,

Go ahead and plant the tomatoes now. That’s the best I could do under the circumstances.

I love you,

Vinnie

Sometimes the most creative solutions come from unlikely places.

The Great Gadzoni

My dad emailed me this story, so I Google’d his name hoping it was true, but it doesn’t look like it is. Great story though, it can be applied to several things in life.

Several years ago the Great Gadzoni had just completed a challenging tightrope walk across Niagra Falls. The wind was howling and stinging rain pelted him as he inched across the rope. Met with enthusiastic applause on the other side, the Great Gadzoni was wringing the water from his cape when an excited fan approached, urging him to make a return trip but this time pushing a wheelbarrow, which the fan just happened to have with him.

The Great Gadzoni was hesitant, having barely made the first trip across in the high winds and pouring rain. But the spectator insisted, stating that he knew the Great Gadzoni could do it.

“You can do it. I know you can” the fan insisted.

The Great Gadzoni thought for a moment. “You really believe I can do it?”

“Yes, definitely” the fan responded.

“OK,” said Gadzoni. “Get in.”

True Belief

Real conviction means being willing to put yourself on the line for what you claim to believe in.

Words vs. Actions

It’s easy to express confidence with words, but our willingness to act reveals our true convictions.

Trust

When we truly trust someone or something, we’re willing to place our well-being in their hands.

“OK,” said Gadzoni. “Get in.”

Questions to Consider

  • Where in your life do you claim to believe in something or someone, but might hesitate to “get in the wheelbarrow”?
  • How do our actions often contradict our stated beliefs?
  • What would it mean for you to fully commit to your convictions in various areas of your life?

Chances of Dying for Men in 2008

The Statistics of Mortality

Understanding How Men Die in America

The stark infographic above presents a sobering look at the causes of death for men in the United States in 2008. While we often fear the sensational – shark attacks, lightning strikes, or spider bites – the data reveals a different reality about what truly threatens men’s lives.

This visualization puts into perspective both the major killers and the statistical rarities, challenging us to reconsider our perception of risk.

The Major Killers

316,968 Heart Disease
307,655 Cancer (All Types)
96,835 Lung Cancer

Cancer Breakdown

26,987 Prostate Cancer
21,289 Colon Cancer
16,785 Pancreatic Cancer
7,258 Skin Cancer

Other Significant Causes

26,132 Suicide
23,898 Alzheimer’s Disease
12,372 Homicide
8,423 HIV/AIDS

Putting Risk in Perspective

1 Shark Attack
5 Spider Bites
40 Lightning Strikes
43 Bee/Wasp/Hornet

While we often fear the dramatic and sensational causes of death, the data tells us that lifestyle-related diseases like cancer and heart disease pose a far greater risk. Media coverage and popular culture may fuel our fear of sharks or lightning, but the statistics reveal a different reality.

Unexpected Significant Risks

4,624 Motorcycle Accidents
3,443 Drowning
1,737 Fireworks Accidents
57 Falling From a Cliff

Why These Statistics Matter

Understanding the true causes of mortality can help us make better decisions about our health and safety. The data suggests that we should focus our preventive efforts on:

  • Regular health screenings for common cancers, especially prostate, colon, and lung
  • Heart health maintenance through diet, exercise, and medical monitoring
  • Mental health awareness to address the significant suicide rates
  • Vehicle safety, particularly for motorcyclists

While it’s natural to fear the dramatic and unusual, the statistics show that our attention and preventive efforts are better directed toward the less sensational but far more common causes of death.

Sources: American Cancer Society, CDC, National Safety Council (2008 data)

Join the Conversation

Were you surprised by any of these statistics? Has this information changed how you think about health risks? Share your thoughts in the comments below.