Dilbert’s The Topper Posted on September 13, 2008 | by Scott was telling me about Dilbert’s The Topper, I know a few people who do this. Hilarious…
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In defense of my topper-topperingness, mine are at least true! I have never killed any insurgents and have not been reincarnated as a zombie. =)
Ms Topper says:
I am guilty of Toppering. I cannot help being competitive. However, to topper all toppers, my name really is Topper.
I have a TOPPER in my office. today he told us the blizzard we are getting is not that bad, once he drove in a category 5 hurricane on the coast of Florida.
Ms Topper says:
A hurricane? That’s nothing. Once I drove through the desert at high speed in the dark with the lights off so that my passenger wouldn’t see how dangerous the road was and it would be over as fast as possible
Basement Cat says:
The desert in the dark? That’s nothing. I once drove straight down Olympus Mons backwards at 600 MPH in a rocket car with my hands tied behind my back while re-painting a perfect replica of the Mona Lisa with a brush in my teeth.
Olympus Mons, backwards, rocket car, that’s nothing. I once skydived naked into a blast furnace on the event horizon of a blck hole, while detailing the east pediment of the elgin marbles, using a tiny chisle glued to one of my eyelashes.
Needless to say I didn’t use a parachute.
Jewel Reznicek says:
Just came to read about this, and I ended up spending 20 minutes reading your other stuff too, awesome work man
that’s nothing I was italian once…
That’s nothing; when I was advising god on the creation of the Universe I told him to create all of you Toppers (don’t all thank me at once). You provide normal people with an object of ridicule to vent their spleen on and thus contributes to a stable society. Despite the way you turned out I’m still glad I indirectly created you.
As I created the man you are now, Steve, I’m quite pleased with the way you turned out.
I ate three black holes for breakfast and plan on the universe for lunch with a little salt and pepper
Thats nothing. We repaired Chuck Norris iPhone (we repair iPhones).
Miguel Guerro says:
That’s nothing! I once made cube out of 6 black holes and then turned them inside out, creating the multiverse. But that’s nothing! Once I saw myself do that, I decided to create time and space to prevent anyone from knowing I did it.
That’s nothing! I repaired Chuck Norris’ Apple Watch while he was wearing it and while he was traveling through time to stop the creation of time and space.