Category: My Blog Posts

What Ceramics Class Taught Me About Life

What a high school ceramics class taught me about slowing down and enjoying life

Sometimes the most important things are right in front of us

A Geek in Ceramics Class

When I was in high school, I took two semesters of ceramics. Yeah, you read that correctly, ceramics! I really enjoyed it. I made figurines, pots, mugs, faces, and monsters. Not only that, but I made some great stuff that probably got thrown away before it ever made it home.

One of my best friends was in the class, which made it all the more fun. The pottery teacher was an artsy type (go figure) and used to talk about the old house she was fixing up as we sculpted our bowls. She got to wear the best outfit of all the teachers, a t-shirt, and jeans and because she basically got paid to teach us to mold mud, her clothes were almost always dirty.

The Morning That Changed My Perspective

One morning the teacher walked into the class a little late while we all sat on our stools perfecting our muddy creations remarking “weren’t the trees simply amazing this morning?”

Now I don’t know if there was a little extra something in her coffee mug to make her extra inquisitive but the statement was so odd to a bunch of 17 and 18-year-olds that it made most of us all stop what we were doing and look at her to see what she would say next. She then quickly went on to list a few other things she had seen on her drive to school.

“I mean wow…not just the trees, but the birds, the clouds, the sun, the sky,” she remarked.

I think one of the students made a smart remark back to her like “uhhh nooooo I didn’t see the stupid trees today.” She seemed perturbed by our lack of interest. She went on to further explain herself:

“

You guys have lived almost a quarter of a century, and you don’t notice the things that matter…the beautiful things…the things all around us that go by quickly and if you don’t stop and pay attention to them, you won’t ever notice them.

For some reason, unlike most of the other students, what she was saying made perfect sense to me. It was a great two-minute rant from a teacher. It wasn’t great because it was an abstract concept I hadn’t thought about, but because I hadn’t really thought about slowing down and enjoying my surroundings until that point.

Don’t get me wrong, everyone stops and “smells the roses” every now and then, but I took her rant a step further. Almost literally from that moment on I didn’t take too many things for granted, which sounds silly, but it is true. You know that scene in Office Space where Peter is hypnotized and is in a state of complete relaxation? It was almost like that. I started to see life differently.

Why Enjoying Life Matters

If enjoying life isn’t important, I have to ask…what is the point of life? No, really…what is the point of life if you don’t enjoy it? Everyone has bad days, weeks, months. Heck, I’ve even had a few bad years, but at the end of it all I have really enjoyed life.

I don’t know what the road ahead has in store for me, but I’m finding the older I get, the less focused I am on the destination and the more focused I am on the journey.

There are lots of people who have midlife crises where they suddenly realize they are halfway through life, and they haven’t really gotten out of life what they anticipated. There are probably even more who on their death beds that have regrets. They haven’t lived the life they wanted to live. Even worse, there are some who spend their entire lives living someone else’s life, or a life they didn’t enjoy. The biggest regret I think I would have in life is regretting living life to its fullest.

I have written about it in the past, but I see loads of zombies. I see people who live their lives with their heads down. They don’t notice the sky, the birds, the clouds, or the trees. They don’t notice the things that matter. I read this poem a few years ago and kept it around because it said things that made a lot of sense to me.

“ “

Have you ever watched kids on a merry-go-round?
Or listened to the rain slapping on the ground?
Ever followed a butterfly’s erratic flight?
Or gazed at the sun into the fading night?

You better slow down.
Don’t dance so fast.
Time is short.
The music won’t last.

Do you run through each day on the fly?
When you ask: “how are you?” do you hear the reply?
When the day is done, do you lie in your bed
with the next hundred chores running through your head?

You’d better slow down.
Don’t dance so fast.
Time is short.
The music won’t last.

Ever told your child, we’ll do it tomorrow?
And in your haste not see his sorrow?
Ever lost touch, let a good friendship die
because you never had time to call and say “hi”?

You’d better slow down, don’t dance so fast.
Time is short.
The music won’t last.

When you run so fast to get somewhere,
you miss half the fun of getting there.
When you worry and hurry through your day,
it is like an unopened gift thrown away.

Life is not a race.
Do take it slower.
Hear the music before the song is over.

— From a chain email

10 Things Ceramics Class Taught Me About Life

  1. Maintain perspective — As my High School teacher recommended, you can enjoy your surroundings while driving into school, but you can’t take your eyes off the road for long before you crash and lose track of where you are going.
  2. Learning happens everywhere — You can learn something from any situation you choose, or life chooses for you. I took ceramics thinking I would create some pots and other useless things…OK I did…but I took away a really important life lesson. My ceramics teacher probably has no idea the impact she had from a rant she made one day in class.
  3. Friendship enhances creation — Making things in life, like ceramics, are better when done with friends.
  4. Completion matters — You can have lots of ideas, but few people will buy your art until it is fully baked from the kiln.
  5. True love endures — That scene in Ghost where you are Patrick Swayze who comes back from the dead to meet a young Demi Moore at a pottery wheel. Yeah, no…that won’t happen to you…no…it won’t…ever. Sorry. The good news is, a true love will love you when you are there and when you aren’t…like in Ghost. True loves love forever.
  6. Embrace new experiences — Step outside your comfort zone every now and then. I’m not usually the artsy type, but when I give new things a chance, I usually tend to enjoy it.
  7. Patience yields results — Some of the best things in life take time. Slow down and don’t be afraid to create something slowly. Everyone knows the saying that good things come to those who wait. Often it is true.
  8. Quirky mentors matter — My teacher was crazy and probably did have something in her coffee, but man was she cool.
  9. You control your creation — You can make whatever you want in life.
  10. Wake up to life — Look around you. Enjoy life. Enjoy every bit of it. Wake up! Don’t be a zombie. Do what you want. If life isn’t giving you what you want…go get it.

What unexpected lessons have you learned?

Share a time when wisdom came from an unexpected source in your life.

Collaborating Without Trespassing

How a neighborhood lawn-mowing arrangement taught me about business collaboration

Two neighboring lawns with different maintenance levels
The visual impact of collaboration vs. separation in lawn care Photo Credit: bestlawn.info

The Lawn Story

From the time I was capable of pushing a lawn mower, I was mowing my parent’s lawn. At first, I would mow a strip of grass and my dad would critique how straight I stayed with the previous row until I eventually got enough experience and strength to mow the entire lawn.

When we moved to Maryland, we had a front yard with a fair amount of grass that we shared with our neighbor in the front yard. At first, we mowed our own lawn from the property marker near the sidewalk to the fence which separated our front and backyard. My parent’s yard was sometimes longer, and more healthy than our neighbor’s property. In other instances throughout the year, our yard was also shorter and less healthy than our neighbor’s. With inconsistent approaches for caring for our lawns, we had very different results depending on the amount of care we each put into it.

One day, our neighbor asked us if we would be willing to take turns cutting and caring for each other’s lawns each week. This allowed us on some weeks to only cut the grass in the backyard, as well as have a nice, consistent look across both of our front yards.

Our neighbor edged his lawn, so he edged ours, he knew more about fertilizing, he aerated, and other lawn care best practices we previously hadn’t done or been knowledgeable of. Our lawns never looked so nice, and the consistent look and feel across both yards really helped make the neighborhood shine.

The Business Connection

When I entered the business world, I quickly realized that it wasn’t just property owners who tended to primarily look out for their own areas. In business each “silo”, or business unit tended to think about their needs first, and rarely did they want to willingly collaborate with others.

The Problem with Silos:

  • Duplicate work (multiple teams working on the same thing)
  • “Turf wars” over areas of responsibility
  • Highly competitive rather than collaborative environments
  • Resources wasted reinventing solutions that already exist

Silo’d businesses aren’t fun to work for because they are highly competitive instead of collaborative, and it seems everyone is in it for themselves. I don’t want to spend too much time writing about the problem, or the impact of silo’d thinking because most of us have lived or worked in a silo’d and non-collaborative environment. Think about your religious institution, business, education, or even personal lives. If you have ever tried to do something big, you’ve likely stepped on someone’s toes.

How to Create a More Collaborative Work Environment

1

Set Boundaries

Make sure you have property markers in your business. You wouldn’t buy a home or property unless you know what you own versus what your neighbor owns. If people don’t know what areas they are responsible for, they will encroach all over everyone’s areas of responsibility, which will cause massive amounts of conflict.

2

Communicate Boundaries

Once you have property markers, share them in a very public and accessible location, so team members can never say “I didn’t know they were responsible for that”. There is an old adage which says it is easier to ask for forgiveness than permission. The adage is true, but what it fails to advise is the end result. You may get what you are looking to accomplish done, but if the impact is so great that others stop trusting you, the only strategy you have left is to continue the same adage.

3

Clarify Boundaries When Appropriate

Once you set the expectation for who is responsible for what area(s), create processes to get clarification if something isn’t clear. Many times there are “gray areas” in areas of responsibility, which also leads to conflict. Responsibilities cannot always, nor should they always be “black and white”, but if you have turf wars because your employees claim a responsibility wasn’t clear, look to clarify and define responsibilities when it makes sense. Don’t let fuzzy areas and confusion last too long within your organization.

4

Communicate Intent

If you intend to encroach on someone else’s turf, inform the property owner. You wouldn’t go into someone else’s house without knocking. Don’t encroach on someone else’s area of responsibility without asking if they can accomplish what you need first in a timely manner. The business process owner also will need to be able to meet your requirement, unless it conflicts with a larger strategy.

5

Respect Expertise

I’ve visited several large companies and one thing that always intrigues me is corporate cultures. I admittedly don’t know much about Cisco other than a few visits I’ve made, but have to say they have really impressed me each time I’ve been there. Working at Cisco, and attending an “Executive briefing” are likely two separate experiences, but each time I am there I tell others the same thing: they respect one another. I’ve been in all day and half-day sessions where different groups from within their organization come in to present. Each department is highly respectful of one another’s area of expertise. It is refreshing and something most companies lack based on what I’ve seen.

6

Reward, Hire, Promote, and Fire Based (In Part) on Collaboration

If you set boundaries but promote, reward, and hire employees who encroach onto other employee’s areas of responsibility in a hostile way, it encourages others to do the same within the team. I know of several instances where leaders within companies “steamroll” other departments in order to quickly accomplish what they are looking to do.

Warning: Always try to avoid steamrolling, and more importantly, never encourage that type of behavior. Steamrolling others is a way to get something done quickly, but when you need those who you “ran over” in the future, how willing do you think they will be to trust, and collaborate with you?

Your Turn

What are some areas of opportunity in your business for better collaboration? What recommendations do you have?

Fight Back: Career Lessons from Hell’s Kitchen

How resilience in the face of criticism can be your greatest career asset

I’ve given some career advice in the past, and love talking to others about tips we each have for getting work done at work. Having problems working at work, or getting work done, might sound like an odd problem to talk about, but you would be surprised how difficult it can be sometimes.

Common Workplace Obstacles:

  • Corporate “red tape” slowing down progress
  • Territorial colleagues fighting to protect their turf
  • Resistance to change, even when it benefits the company
  • Self-focused thinking instead of company-focused solutions

Advice I often find useful is to fight back in the face of adversity. So many people give up when they face adversity and being the reality TV lover that I am, I’m always looking to learn from what most see as mindless (OK, some of it is) TV.

Lessons from Chef Ramsay

👨‍🍳

Chef Gordon Ramsay

One of the reality TV shows I never miss is Hell’s Kitchen. Many don’t watch the show and often cite the fact that they don’t like how Chef Ramsay yells at the contestants. I don’t necessarily like it either, I think some of it is for TV, but one thing I have noticed is there seems to be a method to his madness.

He will yell at the contestants, calling them words like “wankers, donkeys” and other belittling terms. I find some of what he says hilarious, but yes mean and absolutely disrespectful. If you model that type of behavior, you won’t stay employed, and you certainly won’t get respect.

Unstable leaders results in unstable teams. Stressed leaders result in stressed teams. I could go on, but very frequently a team will model the behavior of its leadership.

The Key Observation:

One thing I have noticed is Chef Ramsay scolds someone, and then he carefully watches their reactions. Some cry, some give up, and every now and then someone will fight back.

Disrespectful Resistance

I’ve noticed he doesn’t like those that fight back with disrespect, little do. As you can see in the video below, that approach doesn’t go well, and it will never go well for you professionally.

Resilient Persistence

When contestants fight back with resilience, time and time again he will accept failure if it means he is able to keep someone who wants to continue in the competition.

Giving Up

Some contestants simply give up or break down, showing they don’t have the resilience needed in a high-pressure professional kitchen environment.

The Business Connection

Similarly, in business I’ve noticed people will give up when they are reprimanded and choose a different career, quit the company, and in even some cases, stop believing in themselves entirely.

Remember This

Never stop believing in yourself, and always fight back in the face of adversity.

How you choose to fight back is going to be different for everyone, but if you truly believe in yourself and what you believe in, one would hope it is worth fighting for. Fight back, but always fight fair, even when others aren’t.

A demonstration of how not to respond to criticism

The Resilience Formula

Self-Belief
+
Persistence
+
Respect
=
Career Success

Stand up for your ideas, persist through criticism, but always maintain professionalism and respect.

Your Turn

Have you ever had to “fight back” professionally? How did you handle criticism while maintaining professionalism?