Category: Random Stuff (Misc.)

There was a blind woman who hated herself because she was blind. She hated everyone, except her loving boyfriend. He was always there for her. She told her boyfriend, ‘If I could only see the world, I will marry you.’ One day, someone donated a pair of eyes to her. When the bandages came off, she was able to see everything, including her boyfriend.

He asked her, ‘Now that you can see the world, will you marry me?’ The girl looked at her boyfriend and saw that he was blind. The sight of his closed eyelids shocked her. She hadn’t expected that. The thought of looking at them the rest of her life led her to refuse to marry him.

Her boyfriend left in tears and days later wrote a note to her saying: ‘Take good care of your eyes, my dear, for before they were yours, they were mine.’ This is how the human brain often works when our status changes.  Only a very few remember what life was like before, and who was always by their side in the most painful situations. Life is a gift today, so before you say an unkind word, think of someone who can’t speak.

Before you complain about the taste of your food, think of someone who has nothing to eat.  Before you complain about your husband or wife, think of someone who’s crying out to God for a companion.  Today, before you complain about life, think of someone who went too early to Heaven.  Before whining about the distance you drive, think of someone who walks the same distance with their feet.  And when you are tired and complain about your job, think of the unemployed, the disabled, and those who wish they had your job.  And when depressing thoughts seem to get you down, put a smile on your face and think: you’re alive and still around.

VisuaEconomics has a nice visualization showing how the average U.S. consumer spends their paycheck.

Husband and wife came for counseling after 20 years of marriage. When asked what the problem was, the wife went into a passionate, painful tirade listing every problem they had ever had in the 20 years they had been married. She went on and on and on: neglect, lack of intimacy, emptiness, loneliness, feeling unloved and unlovable, an entire laundry list of unmet needs she had endured over the course of their marriage.

Finally, after allowing this to go on for a sufficient length of time, the male therapist got up, walked around the desk, and after asking the wife to stand, embraced and kissed her passionately as her husband watched with a raised eyebrow. The woman shut up and quietly sat down as though in a daze.

The therapist turned to the husband and said, ‘This is what your wife needs at least three times a week. Can you do this?’  The husband thought for a moment and replied, ‘Well, I can drop her off here on Mondays and Wednesdays, but on Fridays,… I fish.

A Florida senior citizen drove his brand new Corvette convertible out of the dealership. Taking off down the road, he pushed it to 80 mph, enjoying the wind blowing through what little hair he had left. ‘Amazing,’ he thought as he flew down I-95, pushing the pedal even more.

Looking in his rear view mirror, he saw a state trooper behind him, blue lights flashing and siren blaring. He floored it to 100 mph, then 110, then 120. Suddenly he thought, ‘What am I doing? I’m too old for this,’ and pulled over to await the trooper’s arrival.

Pulling in behind him, the trooper walked up to the Corvette, looked at his watch and said, “Sir, my shift ends in 30 minutes. Today is Friday. If you can give me a reason for speeding that I’ve never heard before, I’ll let you go.”

The old gentleman paused. Then said, “Three years ago, my wife ran off with a Florida State Trooper. I thought you were bringing her back.”  “Have a good day, Sir,” replied the trooper.

Drew from lefthandtoons.com has a humorous cartoon about his concerns with how Subway puts cheese on his sandwiches.  If you see this cheese violation at your local Subway please let them know the proper way to put cheese on your sandwich.  🙂  I’ll have to open my sandwich and look next time (I’ve never noticed).

If we could reduce the world’s population to a village of precisely 100 people, with all existing human ratios remaining the same, the demographics would look something like this:

• The village would have 60 Asians, 14 Africans, 12 Europeans, 8 Latin Americans, 5 from the USA and Canada, and 1 from the South Pacific
• 51 would be male, 49 would be female
• 82 would be non-white; 18 white
• 67 would be non-Christian; 33 would be Christian
• 80 would live in substandard housing
• 67 would be unable to read
• 50 would be malnourished and 1 dying of starvation
• 33 would be without access to a safe water supply
• 39 would lack access to improved sanitation
• 24 would not have any electricity (And of the 76 that do have electricity, most would only use it for light at night.)
• 7 people would have access to the Internet
• 1 would have a college education
• 1 would have HIV
• 2 would be near birth; 1 near death would control 32% of the entire world’s wealth; all 5 would be US citizens

Source: http://www.familycare.org/

Is anyone going this weekend who follows my blog?  I know my best friend and biggest fan is going with me.  I can’t wait, looks like the event is going to have some great speakers this year.  I think I am most looking forward to hearing Tim Ferriss speak.  As always I’ll take great notes and will have pictures and video after the event to share for those of you who won’t be able to make it.

I learned about The Blue School in May’s Inc. Magazine:

• “Original blue men Chris Wink, Matt Goldman, and Phil Stanton, together with their wives, Jen Wink, Renee Rolleri, and Jennifer Stanton, conceived the school as an alternative to the New York school scene. “There’s this incredible pressure in Manhattan private schools to get young children into Harvard. Like, at 2,” says Rolleri, whose background is in art therapy and child development. The Blue School, Goldman says, was a response to what was “not happening” in education. “Schools are educating creativity and innovation out of children,” he says, “and sucking the joy out of that experience.”
• Pre-k and Elementary
• Only 20 kids admitted per grade
• School that teaches kids to be kids
• Studies show if kids choose the curriculum they learn more
• $27k annual tuition

Here is an email I received  earlier in the week.  You know I am a sucker for animal stories so here is one that is perfect for Mother’s Day.  All moms need a helping hand…

A True Duck Story from San Antonio , Texas
Something really cute happened in downtown San Antonio this week. Michael R. is an accounting clerk at Frost Bank and works there in a second story office.  Several weeks ago, he watched a mother duck choose the concrete awning outside his window as the unlikely place to build a nest above the sidewalk. The mallard laid ten eggs in a nest in the corner of the planter that is perched over 10 feet in the air. She dutifully kept the eggs warm for weeks, and Monday afternoon all of her ten ducklings hatched.